Derby Name: Honey Boom Boom #426 
Real Life Alias: Mallory Sadler
Freshie Year: 2013 with Classic City, Athens GA
Number of Tattoos: 3
Honey Boom Boom may be small, but the girl [nay, woman] is fierce. She conquered her fear of heights by going sky diving, who doesn’t look up to that kind of power? And don’t even get her started on Ebola, the CDC lost out when she changed her mind about working there. Boom got her derby start with Classic City Roller Girls in Athens Georgia in Jan 2013, and this is her fourth season. Plow stops only held her back long enough to get to her first bout against the Greensboro B team that she will never forget. But then again, skating with half the field of fourteen in their first bout ever versus the All-Stars as a rematch, not the B team as originally planned, would make a memorable first bout for anyone. And now she can look back at the pictures with a smile. They may have lost by nearly three hundred points, but her team managed to get fifty. And she no longer stands straight up the entire time she is blocking, for which ARG is eternally grateful.
ARG really loves Boom, and Boom really loves derby. When I asked her what she liked to do outside of derby I then had to explain that I didn’t count watching derby, or going to the gym to train for derby [she loves that too]. And while sitting on the couch to veg out in front of the television is her favorite thing to do outside of derby, she would so rather be skating derby. As her favorite venue to bout in is the Holmes Convocation Center we are happy to accommodate her twice this year. And last year, as she was able to play her favorite derby match up against her old team from Classic City. Boom fondly remembers that derby friends were everywhere, and it was just amazing; everyone got to roll out into a giant arena with a giant score board, it was just incredible.
But while Boom loves ARG and Classic City, her derby crush is definitely Sexy Slaydie of Gotham Girls. Boom told me that she wants to be her [it’s good that she got rid of her fear of heights, as Slaydie comes in over six feet before she throws her skates on]. Her real life crush is the man she married, whom she calls the best decision she has ever made, league referee Wookie Mistake. She also has an extended derby family including a big, wife, and two littles. Her derby wife is skating in Iowa now though and her two derby littles are both in Athens. Boom, who loves being a sneaky pivot [particularly with jammer Public Jenemy], has two tiny jammers that are amazing for littles and she went back for their bout debuts, even though she was no longer with Classic City. Boom came here to Boone with Wookie in August 2014 for her first season with ARG [fine, she didn’t come for the derby, but we at ARG believe she did]. And thankfully her favorite color is purple, so she was finally able to come to a team who could accommodate her.
If you’re going to buy the lady a hotdog please get a grilled dog with slaw (that’s coleslaw), but leave off the condiments. Boom doesn’t like them, no ketchup, no mustard, no mayonnaise. Maybe it comes from being one of nine kids in her family. Her Mom must be superwoman, after all, she was what finally helped Boom decide on her name. Boom would call her mom with every name she came up with, and if mom didn’t think it was funny it was a no go. When the call for Honey Boom Boom went in her mom laughed hysterically, then called Boom’s gramma. Clearly, that was meant to be.
If you want to sweep Boom off her feet, I would have to recommend you don’t, because she can hit hard. But she would like to go relax on the beaches in Greece. Me personally, I would like to go with her. Just as soon as this season is over. ARG is incredibly pleased to have Boom as our All-Stars Captain during her second season with us, and looking forward to many more seasons with her here.
Photo credit: Terry Bruce
